Review: Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters

Hey giuys! Sorry for not being able to post much and at the same time comment on all the new comments and posts on my blog feed. There is something terribly wrong with my internet and I'm left at a loss as to what to do. I had to type this entire review on Word after several fails of trying to open the blogger post editor and after having finally loaded it on my slow internet, the images took ages to upload. I'm not sure how long this internet-deprived state will last, so please bear with me.

Last Friday, I was given the wonderful opportunity of being invited to the advanced press screening of Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters, premiering in Philippine Cinemas January 23 and in U.S. cinemas on January 25. One of the awesome things about this particular screening is that we had the privilege of watching it in IMAX 3D which totally made the experience all the more entertaining.

After getting a taste for blood as children, Hansel (Jeremy Renner) and Gretel (Gemma Arterton) have become the ultimate vigilantes, hell bent on retribution. Now, unbeknownst to them, Hansel and Gretel have become the hunted, and must face an evil far greater than witches... their past.

The pre-screening event was catered by the wonderful Golden Cape Catering Services and may I just say they went through some extra effort to keep the setup extra Hansel-and-Gretel-esque with a touch of gunmetal and candy houses here and there. Granted, they didn't get it exactly right, but it was a valiant effort.

Prior to the actual movie, the audience was given the awesome awesome AWESOME opportunity of viewing the 9-minute prologue trailer of STARTREK INTO DARKNESS. Did I mention it was in IMAX 3D? Yehp, pure epicness. And the actual movie after the epic Star Trek trailer wasn't too shabby either.

This movie, which is a take on the classic children's tale of Hansel and Gretel, was essentially a precautionary tale turned hot witch-butt-kicking action movie. It left little to be desired in the gun-thirsty department. It's everything you expect from the action packed trailer and probably a thin layer of plot more.


And while the narrative makes it out to be more of Hansel's tale than Gretel's you'll be surprised how pleasantly set up the entire scenario is. I'm not going to spoil it, but there's a little more to the siblings than just witch-killing prowess.

Granted, I'm saying now beforehand that you can't expect a brilliant plot from this. The best way to enjoy the film is to take it at face value, enjoy the action and the wonderfully choreographed (and shot) fight scenes and jeer when a particular foe is defeated.

Yehp, the siamese witches were totally part of the plot and not just there for an awesome fight sequence. Sarcasm*

It starts with a little background of Hansel and Gretel's past, one we are probably familiar with and takes us onto a thrilling adventure on their subsequent life as witch hunters. Somewhere along the way, mysterious kidnappings start to occur and the fun begins as Hansel and Gretel discover more about their mysterious past and its connection to recent disappearances.

The entire movie was shot and filmed for 3D so you can expect the CG and effects to be awesome. If possible, do try to catch in IMAX 3D or at the very least 3D because I doubt it'd be worth the watch without it.

For all of you who're thinking about bringing family to the movie, a fair warning stands that there are in fact nude scenes and a fair amount of swearing, so be cautious of who you watch this with.

Also, keep in mind that this movie isn't one you're supposed to wrack your brain with. Basically, it works best if you just shut your brain off and watch the pretty-ness unfold (figuratively of course, considering most of the witches in the film are far from pretty).

Jeremy Renner and Gemma Arterton make awesome butt-kicking sibling protagonists. And while the film does nothing to reinforce their sibling relationship (they look nothing alike and don't even have the same accent), you can't help but admire their in-fight interaction.

Gotta love the sibling resemblance

I am particularly fond of Gemma Arterton because she looks like a crude mix of Emily Browning and Cobie Smulders. And while Jeremy Renner isn't the most handsome of bloke, you can tell by his physique and general burly-man-strength why he's perfect for the role coming out of being The Avengers' Hawkeye.

All in all, if you're in for the mindless thrill of cool weaponry, witch slaying, awesome 3D and rather attractive shots of Gemma Arterton this movie's PERFECT for you.

Catch it in local cinemas January 23 and cinemas worldwide January 25!