Ada and responsibility.

If you've hung out with me for awhile now, you'll probably know that the mere mention of responsibility has an adverse effect on me.

Well, it isn't actually responsibility. Just responsibility where I'm expected to work and do something. Yeah well, responsibility.

Ever so often people will ask me: "Hey Ada! Why don't you join this/that club? You'd be awesome!" or "Uy, why don't you join that committee/contest?" or "Wanna run for president/group leader?" and I reply with a sneeze and say I'm allergic to responsibility.

Clubs
I have never been one to join clubs. I tried that first year with Inkwell and SiSa and that blew up in my face. Besides, meetings and requirements even AFTER class? Just not my thing. And then there's having to deal with other batches and actually learning their names. I'll tell you this right now. I SUCK at names. I remember people's FACES perfectly but when it comes to names I might as well just tap you on the shoulder or call you pssst. That has nothing to do with responsibility but it annoys the heck out of me when people expect me to remember their names after one sighting x_x

Committees and Councils
Had you asked me about this in particular four years ago I would have replied with a big smile and feel flattered for the consideration. Now however, I look at you with terror-stricken eyes and flee for the nearest responsible person to dump all the work onto.

The work isn't the bad thing - I do more work on my own accord. What's really horrible is the criticism. If you mess up, or if what you do isn't up to par with the rest of the body, you're toast. And believe me, toast isn't as yummy as it seems.

And not only do you have to exert authority, you have to push your authority on other people. And I don't know if you guys have noticed, but people don't generally like being subject to authority. Especially authority that's 5 feet tall, has long hair and a big mouth.

Offer me a low-profile job, with no air-time and virtually an anonymous post and I'll consider.

Contests/Designing
Simple. I don't do work that has no merit to me. I'm tired of always being asked to submit something, when obviously they would rather pick somebody else's design. It's like they know you'll lose but they want you to submit anything anyway just so your self-esteem takes a blow as well.

On the contrary, I will do work if I get paid to do it. I love doing commissions, making blog layouts and photoshopping people's faces to make them look 10 years younger. Yes, I make a pretty steady income doing these things (if you don't believe me, ask the 2k in my wallet), and despite the sometimes heavy load, at least I get kicks out of it.

And contrary to popular belief, I do not just come up with good art out of nowhere. My thinking and creating process isn't a sudden impulse, and can rarely be forced out. I draw when I feel like drawing, I design when I feel like designing and I write when I feel like writing. The only exceptions to these are when I'm given specifics and I don't actually have to think. Yeah, thinking just isn't my forte at this point.

Groupwork
Let's backtrack to first year when I was the leader (or shadow leader) of almost every group I was in. It was never fun, and the teachers are out for your head if you forget any materials or screw any instructions up. It isn't fun when your whole group abandons you to do the work alone either.

So quite recently, I have taken to not accepting any group-leading roles, but I still do a lot of the work. That way, when I do the work, people feel more guilty and inclined to help. It makes a greater impact when a lowly groupmate does more work than a leader, doesn't it? :D (muhahaha for ulterior motives)



So yeah, responsibility and I don't really mix, whatever you people say. I will be responsible for my own grades and requirements. Anything outside that circle is dead to me.

OH CRAP MA'AM BERNAL MADE ME DIRECTOR OF READER'S THEATER NOOOOOOO